Watch Your Wake

By Mary V. Gelinas

What impact are you having on others? What impact do you want to have on others? 

We affect others through our words, tones of voice, gestures, and internal states.

In Space Is Not Empty: How Hidden Fields Are Shaping Your Life and Our World, @Alan Briskin and I describe seven reasons why being aware of the fields of energy and information in which we are interacting matters. 

One of these reasons is to notice our impact on others. When we are aware of our internal state, or personal field, we can sense whether someone is responding positively or whether they are getting frightened or angry. In addition to noticing facial expressions, we feel it inside.

Fundamentally, fields are spaces in which interactions take place. They are territories in which a network of interactive forces—both visible and invisible—are radiating from sources inside and around us. They influence how we feel, think, and behave.

A beloved teacher and friend of Alan’s and mine, Basque-American cross-cultural anthropologist Angeles Arrien, captured this as “Watch Your Wake.” Having enjoyed water skiing as a child, I well remember how hard it was to stay upright on the water skis when another boat sped by. I had to surf the wake coming from the other boat along with the wake behind the boat pulling me. 

Several years ago I was facilitating a meeting at a financial investment firm in a high-rise building in San Franciso. The group was building great momentum as they developed promising solutions to the challenges facing their business. It was a vibrant field of creativity, teamwork, and laughter. Suddenly the CEO swept into the room and in a loud, critical tone, said, “You’re having too much fun in here. You’d better come up with some failsafe solutions to this crisis.” He walked out and closed the door. People fell silent. I could feel the shift in the group field. So could they. 

The meeting became somber and slower. People became more combative, interrupting one another. Although they acknowledged that something had changed, they couldn’t regenerate the camaraderie they had previously developed. Although nothing in the room had changed, the energetic field or social field changed drastically, and the shift affected everyone. 

The CEO had created a toxic wake with his words and tone. Imagine the impact of this on everyone not just during the meeting, but afterwards as they went back to their desks; and how their individual and collective fields affected those around them.

“Fields are a dynamic set of relationships involving emotions, physical movement, behaviors, and beliefs. They are constantly being created and recreated. Each of us has an impact on how fields move us toward constriction and frustration or learning and discovery. You make a difference when you recognize your own impact. . .as a co-creator of the fields you share with others.” (Chapter 2 in Space Is Not Empty)

What impact do you want to have on others and the fields in which you and they are interacting?